When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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