The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
