He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
