saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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