wakey wakey hands off snakey
No stitches, just platelets and will power
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
