every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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