she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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