is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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