I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
not ubering you a puppy
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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