Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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