Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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