guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
