i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
