My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Randomize
