I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
