I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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