just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
