I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
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