aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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