no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I just forgot I was standing up.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
