Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
