That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
