Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
