i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
