I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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