Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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