I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
