We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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