Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
