We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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