Don't you send me to vm
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
