he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
