During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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