I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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