I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
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