just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
