The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize