Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
