I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I need water and some morals
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
