ya dads aren't the best wingmen
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
people are starting to question the shark bite story
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize