Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
