she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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