going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
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