I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
