im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
