Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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