You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
