Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize