Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He passed out mid-signature
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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