me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
