Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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