Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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