just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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