This girl is more easily done than said...
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
