Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
