and you said cock pushups were impossible
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
