I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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