Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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