Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
