Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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