remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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